My 20-year-old Toyota Highlander has remarkable amenities that include an FM/AM radio, CD player AND a cassette player.

One evening as I was rummaging through my purse my 4-year-old grandson spotted a cassette tape that I’d stuck in my purse to listen to on my hours long drive to his house. He was captivated with this odd black rectangle of plastic that had some kind of brown tape that moved if you turned either of the white wheels. He had never seen such a thing. So, of course he immediately wanted to see how it worked. It was already dark outside so I promised that we would check it out in the morning.

The next morning just as I was pouring my first cup of coffee he popped up from out of nowhere. “Grandma, can we try that plastic thing now? PLEASE?”

I grabbed my keys and as I helped him climb up into the car he said, “I just don’t get how it works, Grandma.”

I turned the ignition key, inserted the tape into the player, and suddenly the music blasted out.

He stared at the console intently for about 30 seconds and then the moment was over. Too bad it was classical music. I might have captured his attention for a full minute if I’d played a children’s song. For just that brief moment I watched his focused attention as his brain tried to solve the equation.

Weird plastic thing + car that has a hole to gobble it up = noise.

The moment was gone. His curiosity was satisfied, and he moved on and he never mentioned it again.

If the event captured his attention and drew him into engagement, we could say he put it in his bandwidth. Instead, he processed the information and then deleted what he didn’t need. He had no attachment to what he saw so he let it go without any further interest in the cassette or the player.

The word bandwidth comes from electronics and has worked its way into everyday language.

It is a term that describes how much information can be transmitted electronically within a given amount of time.

Has this ever happened to you? At the same time, you are watching a movie your son is playing an online game and your daughter is researching some homework online. Suddenly the screen image seems to stumble, and a message informs you that there is a problem. Too much information Is trying to come in at the same time. There is not enough bandwidth.

The internet doesn’t prioritize the importance of each task. Everything, whether it is a movie, online game or download is the same to it and it will handle as much as you demand of it until it cannot carry anything else.  That’s when somebody needs to stop doing something!

We can use the word bandwidth in a different way too.

Dictionary.com describes it as “the energy or mental capacity required to deal with a situation.” That means each task carries a certain amount of energy and, like filling a bucket to the brim, sometimes we just top out as we reach our physical emotional or spiritual limit.

The phrase “I’m on overload” means your bandwidth is at full capacity. You have nothing else to give even though the demands keep coming.

We live complicated lives with increasing demands.

It’s not only our jobs that put demands on us, but as you pay for childcare, stretch the paycheck to cover the bills, grocery shop while staying strong and awake enough to engage with the family over a meal, your bandwidth can fill very quickly.

When our bandwidth is full it affects how we see our world.

In a study of how poverty might affect decision-making, two Princeton University professors, Shafir and Mullainathian questioned in their book, Scarcity, basic assumptions about the basis of poverty. They question if our understanding of the basis of poverty was too limited to that of poor values and lack of planning.

They created a study on stress and decision-making using a game scenario similar to the game show “Family Feud.” One team was set up as ‘poor’ and the other as ‘rich.’ With the clock ticking each faced limited solutions that included taking out a high interest paycheck loan.

Their studies showed that when we feel like we don’t have enough then we focus on the lack.

The more we focus on the lack then our focus clogs up our bandwidth and it affects our decisions. Just like the junk that clogs pipes, the focus on paying the bills, not getting the lights cut off, and buying books for the kids for school can clog up our ability to make good decisions.

Have you ever faced something like this?

You may not believe this has much to do with you but what if we applied this in a different way. Rather than the question being that of money, what if we applied this psychology of scarcity to you and your capacity to handle your job, your patients, your family,  or your life?

In what way is your stress level affecting your ability to make clear decisions?

When you feel stressed to the max, when you look around and only see not enough time or resources, you may not be so different from the person facing the question of paying their bills.

You may be on overload and on the edge of making some bad decisions. Scarcity is a mindset that can affect every part of your life not only by your decisions but by the energy you carry with you.

For the nurse: I have so much to do and so little time! I worry about patient safety!

For the administrator: They ask too much of me! I can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip!

For the essential worker: At what point can I just say, “No. I’ve done enough.”

For the parent: What do you mean you need money for new soccer cleats to match the team! The electric bill is due!

For the child: What else do you want me to cram into a day?

So how can you be sure that there’s enough of you for you. You feel dried up. How do you fill your well?

Maybe the place to start is to approach the question like a 4-year-old.

• He prioritized all the stimuli confronting him.
• He determined that the results did not have a direct connection to what he needed or wanted.
• He let it go and he didn’t look back.

Those steps might work for you. Some things you can let go. That’s a place to start.

And wish me luck. Next time I’m going to introduce my grandson to the car’s CD player. Maybe that will capture his imagination.