Christmas 2019 is now a rosy memory. Little did we know how close we were to profound, unsettling change as the COVID 19 pandemic creeped into 2020 and quickly stole away our normal. Now, no matter what we may hope for, we know that life won’t ever quite be the same.

The Oxford Dictionary describes a paradigm shift as “a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.” In other words, our world, our rules and our expectations have changed on every possible level.

Life is now like that moment when we first step from the solid dock into a small boat. One moment we were on solid ground. The next we’re trying to find the balance that will keep us from falling over the side and into the water. This boat we all share feels unsteady as we try to find our balance in this new life. We’re in the process and we will find it. It’s that adaptation to change that has sustained our human race.

We all face change. In my book “Heart to Heart: Spiritual Care through Deep Listening,” I tell of the day my husband decided to enter treatment for alcoholism. We sat in the marriage counselor’s office to figure out our messy life when out of the blue James said, “I think I may have developed a drinking problem.”

That one statement changed the life trajectory for him and for our family. Nothing would ever be the same. As scary as it was, ultimately it was a very good thing.

Francis Coombs and Theresa Nemeck describe in their classic book, “The Spiritual Journey,” three critical moments that we cross as we grow. The moments are like the threshold of a doorway as we move from one stage of life to the next.

They describe three thresholds considered critical to human development.

1. They are radical. James didn’t weigh the repercussions. He didn’t stop to wonder how I would react. He was fighting for his life, and we were welcomed to come along with him. To admit a problem like that creates change right down to the molecular level.
2. They are irreversible. Once he named the problem, there was no going back. “The cat was out of the bag,” and no way it could go back in. His admission was a stone tossed in a pond. The ripples move out from the central point. Were we, as a family, willing to change too?
3. They are successive. One threshold builds on the previous one and opens the path to another. It’s like climbing a ladder one rung at a time. Consistency is hard, but it is essential for lasting change. That’s one of the biggest challenges for all of us.

For me denial came first. Then came fear as I realized that this change in direction required me to face my place in our story. But that change also brought hope for a way out of our mired down life. Our hope for a better life for our children motivated us, kept us going, and birthed us into something new. We did the work and we got better.

Here is the big question for you. Do you see some area of your life that needs a change? And more importantly are you willing to make that change? Are you willing to try something new?

Small change counts. Even taking a different way home creates a new perspective.
Or maybe your life is like a too small coat and you are ready for a big change.

We live in dynamic times and the one thing that never changes is our ability to choose. Change includes choice. Are you ready?
The answer lies within you.

From my book Heart 2 Heart, p 183.

Image by jplenio from Pixabay