Steps of Change

Finding Steady Ground in a World That Keeps Shifting

The Oxford Dictionary describes a paradigm shift as “a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.” In other words, our world, our rules, and our expectations have changed on every possible level.

Life can feel like that moment when we first step from a solid dock into a small boat. One moment we were steady on familiar ground. The next we’re searching for balance, unsure where to place our weight. Yet adaptation and learning to steady ourselves in new waters is part of what has always sustained the human story.

Threshold Moments

In my book Heart to Heart: Spiritual Care through Deep Listening, I share the day my husband, James, named his struggle with alcohol. We sat in a counselor’s office, unsure of what would come next, when he said quietly, “I think I may have developed a drinking problem.” That single sentence changed the direction of our lives.

Francis Coombs and Theresa Nemeck, in The Spiritual Journey, describe three kinds of thresholds we cross as we grow:

1. Radical — Change arrives with urgency. Naming truth reshapes life at its core.
2. Irreversible — Once spoken, truth cannot be hidden again. Like a stone tossed into water, the ripples move outward.
3. Successive — Growth unfolds step by step, one rung at a time.

For me, denial came first. Then fear. But eventually hope began to grow; hope that something new could emerge from the uncertainty. Our willingness to do the work created space for healing. Small Steps Still Count

Change doesn’t always begin with dramatic decisions. Sometimes it starts with something as simple as taking a different road home, reaching out for a listening conversation, or trying a new rhythm of care for yourself.

We live in dynamic times, and the one constant we carry is the ability to choose. Even in seasons of loneliness or uncertainty, small choices can open the door to meaningful connection.

Loneliness and Connection

Loneliness is not simply being alone. Loneliness is the feeling of disconnection. Social isolation describes having fewer interactions, but loneliness can exist even in a crowded room. The good news is that both can shift when we nurture connection intentionally.

Gentle ways to stay grounded during change include:

• Staying physically active and caring for your health.

• Engaging in meaningful activities that create purpose.

• Reaching out regularly to friends, family, or neighbors.

• Exploring hobbies, volunteering, or community involvement.

• Using technology to maintain connection when distance is present.

• Seeking faith or community spaces that encourage belonging.

Connection grows slowly, often through ordinary moments rather than grand gestures.

A Gentle Invitation Forward

Change often feels like standing at the edge of a dock, unsure how steady the next step will be. We may long for life to return to what it once was, yet growth rarely happens on unmoving ground. Every threshold, whether chosen or unexpected, carries the possibility of new life.

If you are walking through change right now, begin gently. Notice one small place where honesty can open a door. Reach out to someone who listens well. Take one step that aligns with the life you hope to build rather than the life you are trying to hold onto.

Loneliness, uncertainty, and transition do not mean you are failing – they mean you are human. And in these in-between seasons, connection becomes sacred work. A listening conversation, a shared pause, or a quiet moment of reflection can become steady ground beneath your feet.

You don’t have to have every answer today. Just take the next faithful step.

— Rev. Dr. Clare Biedenharn | Your Listening Partner